Tolerate Visibility Without Shrinking
I think contribution is one of our deepest human needs. We want to know that our existence matters beyond ourselves and that we have helped our family, supported our community, created something useful, made someone’s life a little easier or left something behind that wasn’t there before us.
On a very primal level, contribution tells us: I’m part of the village. I have something to give here and I belong.
For some of us, though, that desire eventually grows beyond the everyday ways we contribute. It feels like an itch to create, build, say, teach or lead...something.
It might be a business though it's unlikely to be money driven. Rather, it is born from a sense that we want the daily choices and the way we live our life to be connected to a bigger purpose. We have a deep need to create something that IS us; that is blooming and flowing from somewhere deep within us - from our very core. Our Soul if you will. And that externalisation of it through our creation, is like sharing our soul - that hidden part of our Self - with the world. A beautiful thing to see happening on one hand, but a terrifying thing on the other. Like an artist sharing their work.
And that’s why it can become uncomfortable. Because when we create and build something from this deep inner itch rather than simply out of a 'survival' instinct (a business for financial stability, a relationship for emotional safety etc), suddenly our true essence is 'out there' and our contribution just became very personal indeed.
And this greater contribution often requires greater visibility. Being the person who speaks, or publishes the book, or builds the company, shares the idea, stands at the front of the room or puts their work online for scrutiny.
It also means accepting that we cannot control how we (and out soul driven work) are seen, which is often when the protective inner voice steps in:
Stay where it’s safe. Don’t get too big. Don’t draw attention to yourself. What if they misunderstand you? What if they don’t like you? What if you try and fail? Just don't bother.
So we stay within the contribution that feels comfortable, all the while something inside us continues asking to do more.
I don’t believe that the answer lies in forcing ourselves to be braver - the 'Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway' school of thought - though I have also done that in the past. And yes, there was some success... but I could only go so far before my nervous system said no, my mental voice got loud enough to make me halt, and 'success' hit a glass ceiling.
Years later, I found the way to replace the Feel The Fear mantra and support myself in becoming the visible, soul led version of Me that I craved - and that was by becoming more deeply rooted in my Self than I ever had before.
The result? Knowing your body. Knowing your mind. So much so that you can begin trusting that you know the difference between the small voice of survival and the sometimes even smaller (though far more powerful) voice of inner knowing. And feeling so safe and held in your own ability to truthfully guide yourself from this rooted sense of Self, that another person’s perception of you no longer affects your own knowledge of who you are, nor stops you from flowing forward.
Because the outside world will always be unpredictable.
You can’t control what someone says about you, whether everyone understands your work or how far your contribution eventually reaches. But you can build somewhere safe to return to within yourself.
And perhaps that’s what can allow you to grow beyond your own 'little' pot of contribution and spread those soul-fed roots out far and wide, without losing sense of yourself in the process.
The more of the world you want to reach, the more important it becomes to know how to come home to yourself.
Charlotte Rose
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